If Only
by nekomiao
Summary: Fuji Syusuke decides that even with everything moving forward and things ever changing, he would like one chance to fulfill his attraction to Ryoma before things change and he loses his chance forever.
1. Introduction

**Introduction**

This story doesn't follow the timeline for the prince of tennis series. I'm really only going to follow the story as far as roughly the Kantou finals, so I'll make references to the anime until then. I might make a few references from episodes after that randomly but it's not going to follow the same timeframe.

The setting for this story happens a few years later when everyone's graduated from Seigaku except Ryoma. He's the new captain of the tennis club and the rest have moved onto senior high school, yet they always seem to drop in here and there.

There may be some questions as to how I'm going to end this story pairing wise. To be honest, I'm not too sure how this will end up. I've got a rough storyline drafted, but the way this goes that might change because I kind of like to play it out and see what the characters in my head would like to do themselves rather then force them into my plot. So if you like a certain pairing and aren't open to an alternative ending, please don't read and please don't beg me to go one way or another. Haha, I have no real control over how this is going to end, it'll end how it does.

As for how long this goes for? It really comes down to how complicated I want this drama to be, so you'll just have to wait and see what kind of stories come out of it. Although, I'm not very good at characters other than the main Seigaku boys so if you're looking for rival schools, you'll probably have to go elsewhere because I don't seem to have much if any affinity with the other boys in the series.

And with that, I hope you enjoy the revised edition of "If Only".

Thank you.


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One**

A soft sigh escaped the small athletic frame of Ryoma as he stared blankly into his tennis bag. A towel was draped loosely around his neck, slowly drawing up the sweat that had accumulated during that day's practise. Every day it had been the same routine; go to school, go to tennis club, go home, study and sleep. Although not necessarily always in that order. The young boy was beginning to wonder if there was a problem with actually being content with what he was doing for once, compared to the days of old where he did nothing but aim higher and higher.

It wasn't that he didn't still constantly improve...and it wasn't even that the tournament invites had stopped either. Tournaments around the world invited him to play and compete for the top, however...he had done nothing but reach for the top these past few years that for some reason the boy decided that for his final year in the junior high school circuit he wanted to find someone to guide this group to the top once more... just as Tezuka had done for him.

Ryoma pulled the soaked shirt from his body and dropped it on the bench. Maybe it was a silly idea to create another "pillar of support" but it was almost as if he felt obliged to pass on this legacy before he moved on to greater things. "Heh," he mentally shook his head at the thought. Honestly, he had no idea what made him do this, Ryoma was someone who always cared for himself and pushed his way to the top. He didn't go out of his way to motivate people...honestly.

He pulled on his shirt, mind still caught up with all these thoughts of what he would be doing in tomorrow's club meet when warm hands pressed down on his shoulders, massaging away the knots and aches of the day. He turned his head and had to force the surprise from his face. "Fuji-sempai!" It had been almost half a year since he had last seen the man. Since graduating, the regulars who were led to the championships by Tezuka would meet up at least once a year for a round of tennis and dinner. It's hard to not still feel that bond when they had trained so hard together for what seemed like forever.

A soft feminine chuckle responded to the surprised boy. A tinge of nostalgia laced into his voice as he spoke to Ryoma. "I've missed this place...it's been a long time since we all gathered here and trained. It's hard not to wish for those days to return. It's nice to share a goal with such passionate people." A soft smile flashed onto Fuji's face before he turned away from Ryoma, watching out the window for a moment. The calm Fuji appeared almost tense at that point; almost as if he were preparing himself for something.

The soft cerulean eyes turned back towards the young prodigy for a moment and Fuji's lips parted slightly as if he were about to mention something of importance. However he turned away before he spoke and sat down on a close by bench instead. "You lead them well." The tone was soft, maybe a little hesitant. This conversation was just a filler topic and somehow they both knew it.

"They don't need to be lead." The response was quick and thoughtless. The frustrated tone was clear, however it was obvious to everyone in the club that it wasn't being the captain which frustrated Ryoma; it was the thought of always living in someone else's shadow. Following someone's footsteps instead of leaving his own.

Fuji leaned back in his seat, carefully constructing a response. "The real leader has no need to lead - he is content to point the way." He smiled at the quiet stare which he received in response. There was no doubt Ryoma knew the elder had just quoted Miller at him.

Before Ryoma could shoot a response back however, Fuji rose to his feet once more and took a step towards him. The smile melted from Fuji's face and those quiet serious eyes showed themselves once more. "I came today for a reason, Ryoma." He had thought of so many different plans and tactics for this moment; however in his mind they all failed. With Ryoma, one had to be blunt or he would never take the hint.

Golden eyes widened slightly at the sudden change in emotion emanating from the older boy. For the first time since the arrival of Fuji, Ryoma noticed that this entire time he had been fiddling with the sweatbands which were still around his wrist. Had he really been nervous about something this entire time? There wasn't really any need to be. Sooner or later he knew, it would come to the time where Fuji would take him seriously and challenge him to a real match. It would be time once and for all to figure out who is the better player out of the two of them.

He had prepared for this day.

They watched each other quietly, almost as if they were daring the other to speak first. After a moment, Ryoma reached for his racquet, sure that Fuji was waiting for him to challenge him first but the words which left the elder boy's mouth stopped him in his tracks. "Tezuka asked me to move in which him in the new year." The voice gradually grew softer as he revealed more about those plans. "We'll be graduating into the same university and so it makes sense for us to." There was a slight pause before he spoke the last sentence. "I think he wanted to announce it at our next reunion."

Ryoma's eyes snapped up to meet Fuji's gaze. An announcement would mean that...this wasn't just a room mate kind of situation. Fuji took a step closer to Ryoma, his hand falling lightly onto the other's shoulder. It was very visible that the younger boy was confused by this kind of news. He probably wasn't expecting to be told this...and probably doesn't know why he is being told this. "We've reached a point now where we can't ignore our situation anymore. We have to decide what the next step is going to be..." The voice trailed off, unsure of whether he should continue or if he was just confusing a boy that wasn't interested.

He took a gamble.

On impulse, Fuji leaned downwards and in one swift movement, captured Ryoma's lips with his own. A gasp escaped Ryoma as his eyes widened, hands moving up to press against Fuji's chest in an attempt to push him away. An attempt which only lasted a second before he gave into the feelings which flooded them both at that moment. It was only a whisper when Fuji pulled away from his friend and said one more thing. "I've always watched you, Ryoma."

It seemed like such a strange circumstance to confess in and not the best location either. Part of the young captain was glad the rest of his club had either gone home or were still packing up the courts. His eyes searched the blue depths in front of him, unsure of how to respond or what to do. _What do you want from me?_ He opened his mouth to speak but no voice came out. _I don't understand._

Fuji watched down at Ryoma, and had to suppress a soft bubbling chuckle. The younger boy had obviously never thought about this before. He had probably never considered this kind of situation at all. However, it was really all Fuji had thought about these past few months. All that he had thought about since Tezuka had sat him down that night and asked him seriously about the future; _their_ future. The millions of thoughts ran through Fuji's mind again in that second.

When you walked through life hailed as a prodigy and segregated from the rest of the people a a genius, it was hard not to be attracted to another individual who was on par or even greatly exceeded you. Rarer even still, that there be two people who are in that bracket. He thought about the two people that were before him at the moment. One had asked him...yet he went out of his way to ask the other. How do you tell for sure which one was the right one? How do you tell the difference between a very close friendship and..._that._

Close to the core personality of Fuji was the desire to protect everyone around him. To make sure everyone was safe and happy at all times. He would always put himself out to protect someone else ... and in this situation he knew he wasn't following that philosophy. He had spoken to Eiji not long ago and was told in a surprise moment that he had been confided in. Momoshiro had finally noticed the feelings he had for Ryoma. He wanted to make his move.

Everything was suddenly happening all happening at the same time and this time he selfishly didn't want to lose an opportunity even if it meant that he may hurt someone. Even if that someone...was himself.

He took a long breath and calmed his nerves. This was a new feeling to him. "There are a lot of things happening at the moment. A lot of things that are about to happen soon. I wanted to see you before it was too late." He had to choose his next words very carefully. "Before anybody else got here first...I wanted to have the chance to make you mine. Even it if were just for one day." It all came down to this. Almost as if it were a final act of desperation so he knew which choice should be his final decision. The first time in his life he wasn't sure what he should be doing.

Fuji picked up Ryoma's left hand and pressed a small slip of paper into it. He watched down at the young captain for a moment, almost wanting to lean down just once more but he pulled himself back.

A moment later, he was gone.

And the room almost felt lonely.


	3. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

_This time next week by the tracks._

Ryoma read and re-read the note as he stood there in the locker room by himself. The one liner made complete sense and yet it didn't at all. The tracks would mean the courts where Tezuka had first given him the task of being the pillar of support. Somehow that location attracted all these important moments. He wasn't sure why.

Still, he had a week to think about what he was going to do. Figure out what he wanted. If he even knew where to begin. Those intense golden eyes were still staring at those few words when the door busted open and a few first years walked in. Immediately they turned towards Ryoma, nodding in a respectful way. "Buchou~" they chimed together with big grins. The first years had finally finished cleaning up the courts...thank god it took them this long.

He nodded back at the three boys and zipped up his tennis bag. The white hat pulled snug onto his head once more as Ryoma left the room to the youngsters as they changed. It wasn't hard to remember when he was still a first year, arrogant as he was. He had grown a lot since then but he never really dwelled on that thought. It was much better to focus on what was ahead...except in this case he wasn't really too sure what that was.

Before he knew it, the walk home was over. With all the thoughts going through his mind, young Echizen didn't even notice anything happening on the way. He had ignored a runner in a green bandanna who ran right by him in the opposite direction and purely as a reaction smacked the tennis ball which was lobbed at him by his stupid father. There wasn't time for any of that at the moment. He went straight upstairs and submerged himself in a bath of steaming hot water.

It didn't take long for his body to relax but it took much longer for his mind to follow suit. Tennis balls bobbed in the bath and he pushed them around as his mind swirled with thoughts and emotions. It didn't...feel bad. Heck, it didn't even feel strange. It felt kind of normal for Fuji to heave leaned down and -. The image popped back into his mind and for the first time, the situation hit Ryoma so hard that his face turned a bright red.

All he could do was push the thought out of his mind a moment later as he pulled himself out of the bath and dried himself, ready for dinner. All through dinner Ryoma was more distant than he usually was. The non-response to the jibes that Nanjiroh made had worried the man slightly but it wasn't something he ever showed to his son. It was even stranger yet when Ryoma actually ignored a challenge and went straight up to bed.

Something really big must have happened this time. Well...he'll work it out. He'll either work it our or play it out.

Ryoma settled down into bed, slightly comforted by the fluffy ball that jumped up and snuggled down next to him. At least he had two things in life which never confused him. His tennis and his cat Karupin. He had his eyes closed as soon as the covers were pulled over him but it was a long time yet before those embarrassing thoughts left him long enough for sleep to follow.

It had taken him a couple of days and settle back into his routine. The comforting routine of his where all he had to focus on was getting the ball over the net and into his opponent's court, well that and teaching his team to do the same thing. But this...this he could handle without a problem. Ryoma watched the people playing in front of him. The three boys who have tagged along besides him since his first day have now all matured and earned their spots in the regulars team.

With the reputation that came from the championships that Seigaku had taken out the past few years each year better and better players came to show off their talents and make a bid for a position. All of them lit a fire beneath Ryoma. There are always more talented people out there to play. He had learned that the hard way and it was a lesson he would never forget.

"So what do you think, Ryoma?" A familiar voice came up behind him followed by the all too familiar dark pink tracksuit.

Before he could stop himself the familiar phrase slipped from his tongue. "Mada mada dane." The quiet smirk followed. Although he had to quietly admit to himself that quite a few of them had bright futures ahead of them. None quite stood up to the prowess of Tezuka and Fuji...the thought caught him off guard and Ryoma took a few steps towards the players who had suddenly broken out into an argument on the courts. "30 laps!" He declared to everyone and a loud groan followed.

Sumire's eyebrows raised slightly but she let it go. Ryoma had been tense these past few days and she was a little curious as to why. It wasn't her business though and the regulars reunion was set to occur in a few months time. If anything, there will be news by then as to why this boy has been a bit preoccupied. That reunion was set to occur just before training was to begin for the next regionals tournament; there was still time for him to get a hold of himself.

"After your laps, everyone pack up, it's end of club time!" She called out to the team, this was yet followed by another groan from the members who had wanted to play matches that day but was very quickly stopped by an annoyed captain who ordered everyone to run an additional ten laps.

Ryoma turned to his coach, the expression on his face slightly distant. The moment only lasted a few seconds as the boy forced himself back into the state he had managed to get himself into at the start of the day. There wasn't a point worrying about what was going to happen. Instead, he forced his mindset into the match he was going to have with his dad when he got home. That was always a good way to work off tension; and he had a new idea on how to get match point. He was so close yesterday after all.

He thanked his coach for her work and turned towards the change room. Maybe he needed a stint in the street courts before he got home, just to warm himself up. The thought was being considered very seriously in his mind as he bumped into a very tall and hard body. He frowned a moment before looking up to see a familiar face smiling back at him.

In the past few years, the non-stop milk drinking had caused a slight height increase in Ryoma, but he had never really managed to catch up to Momoshiro. "Oy, Echizen!" The all too cheerful voice piped up. Even though they were in different schools and tennis clubs now, the boys had gotten close in their few years together and were still in the habit of catching up once a week or once every few weeks to do their usual burger run. This day was a bit of a surprise though, he was sure the elder had said something about exams that week.

"Let's go get some burgers on the way home." He smiled at Ryoma and grabbed him around the neck in the playful way he usually did. "And then I wanted to ask you a favor. I need help with my english exams."

"Find yourself a tutor then." Ryoma escaped from the friendly hug the usual way he did and turned away from Momo to head towards the change room.

"Aww come on! I'll pay for burgers today!" The friendly invitation was one that Ryoma couldn't resist. It wasn't too often that Momoshiro offered to pay straight off the bat. Usually the two of them coerced the playful Eiji to pay for the both of them.

Momo took the silent response as a positive answer as the captain's back softened slightly in the walk towards the change room. "Heh..." He still knew how to get to him, that was a good start. As Momo stood there he noticed a few of the new first years go past. They stopped and waved at him. Momo visited enough times that he knew almost the whole new team that had joined Seigaku since his graduation.

"Buchou made us run 40 laps today! That was so mean of him!" One of them piped up. "Momochansempai, do something to make him stop!" Another complained.

Momoshiro laughed at them in return. "You probably deserved it." As he spoke those words, Ryoma showed up with his tennis bag slung over one shoulder. The first years bowed towards him and headed quickly back towards the change room, lest the cranky captain gave them more laps.

The chatter between them as they made towards the burger shop they ate at was filled with tennis. Who they played, any new moves they had recently learned as well as the normal competitive but fun arguing they would always have against each other. The meal they ate together almost ended up with a challenge and the two of them going to street tennis to fight it out; instead Momoshiro ended it by inviting Ryoma over to his house to do the studying he needed to do for next day's test.

On the way to his place, Momoshiro taunted Ryoma by riding a little faster on his bike than he usually did and was almost surprised that the other was actually able to keep up. He must've done a lot of speed training recently, the boy was almost running as fast as the crazy rhythm boy Kamio now. Although that taunt was very easily paid back by Ryoma when Momoshiro tried to muddle through his english grammar.

Having had much of his childhood in America, Ryoma found english lessons very boring although the rest of the class never failed to be awed by how little attention he paid followed by the good grades he would get. It was the one class he could zone out in and think about other things if he needed to. "You're mixing the words around again, Momo. When you want to go to a place you write 'there' the other one is used when something belongs to someone."

"This is a lot harder than it looks. Words shouldn't sound so similar." The boy chided back and corrected himself. Some of the harder concepts were so easy to grasp and it seemed the high schooler was just making a lot of the simpler mistakes; and it's those simpler mistakes that would be causing the most of his lost marks.

This went on for a few hours as the boys traded remarks back and forth. After most of the studying on Momoshiro's behalf had been done, the elder boy finally decided to reveal the true reason for asking him over. "I've got...tickets for next weekend to that new samurai movie. Wanna go?"

Ryoma looked at Momo for a moment. A few seconds passed before he shrugged and agreed. Why not? Just a simple movie. He had gone out with Momo plenty of times before and was very comfortable around him now after so long together. He's lost count of the amount of times they've fallen asleep on each other on the bus ride to and from competitions.

"Actually...I wanted to tell you that I kinda have feelings for you."

That sentence dropped on Ryoma out of the blue and the confused expression was very evident on his face. What's going on here? He had spent a lot of time with Momo but this wasn't something he had expected. It wasn't anything he had ever given any thought to at all to be honest.

Momoshiro paused for a moment to watch the response. This wasn't exactly the response he was looking for, yet maybe he had been watching too much drama recently. It wasn't like Ryoma would have been the type to respond with an emphatic "Oh Momo! I've been waiting for this moment!" ...although that would have been nice.

"Well...uhh we spend a lot of time together and...it's just that well..." He stumbled a few more times before he was able to express to Ryoma that sometimes when two people become really close then feelings evolve and change and... that little spiel went on for a few minutes longer than he had wanted and the non-response from Ryoma wasn't the best reaction either. "Oy Echizen...some feedback would be nice."

"Eh..." He was startled for a moment. What was he supposed to say? Two of these instances within a week was a bit much for someone who had never thought about anything other than tennis for all of his life. At least in the other situation Fuji never really gave him much of a chance to respond. What was he supposed so say right now? It wasn't like he had been waiting for an opportunity to express his feelings or anything. "Well...huh..."

"It's never even crossed your mind huh?" Momoshiro almost had to laugh out loud, if he didn't he probably would have burst into more tears than the time he watched Lucky and that wouldn't have been a pretty sight. You can't expect anything else from a tennis addict really, can you? "A kiss."

The last sentence caught Ryoma even more off guard than the initial confession. What did he mean by that?

"I would like... a kiss." Momoshiro sounded more and more nervous the more times he had to make the demand...and make the demand in a more blunt way so the silly one before him would understand what he meant. It wasn't like he could just force it onto him or anything, that wasn't the right thing to do.

They both sat there in silence for a moment, unsure of what to proceed. What do you do in these kinds of situations? Ryoma fidgeted slightly for a moment. Was he supposed to say "Yes, please do so." Or something of the kind? Is that how this kind of thing worked? And did he want it? It's not that the thought of _being _with the older boy repulsed him or anything, he just never thought about it at all. The response was muttered as a red flush crossed his cheeks. "O-okay."

It was a slightly awkward moment as Momoshiro leaned in and their lips met quietly. Eyes were closed partially as both of them relaxed into the moment. Fireworks didn't go off and the world didn't explode but it felt comfortable. In a sense, it felt just like how it should feel. Much like the comfort of having your coffee the same way each morning and the comfort of the blanket that keeps you safe and warm all night.

It wasn't the same as the flood of emotions he almost drowned in the other day. With that thought Ryoma's blush deepened as Momoshiro pulled away. A blush which the elder took as a good sign and a good start.

"I - I have to get home." The younger boy uttered as he picked up his bag and thanked Momo for letting him come over. He declined the offer to be walked home and let himself out. In the end, Momoshiro thought about it and let himself believe that this was a good reaction, this was probably the first time Echizen had ever been kissed, let alone kissed by a team mate and best friend and better yet a male as well. He probably just needed a little time to come to terms. And anyway, they were still meeting up next weekend for that move. Momoshiro couldn't help but feel a little triumph at what had happened that night.

On the walk home, however Ryoma was a little more conflicted. How was it supposed to feel? On one hand...there were fireworks, but on the other hand it felt comfortable. This is the kind of answer a drama junkie would know. Or the kind of answer his stupid dad would know if they even had these kind of conversations. Ryoma's eyes narrowed slightly. Why did things need to be so complicated?

Just hit the ball back into the court between the lines. Why couldn't life be as simple as that?

When Ryoma got home that night, he pulled out his racquet and poured a cup of ice cold water on his sleeping father. "Tonight I'll take the game from you."

Nanjiroh's annoyed surprise at being woken was quickly replaced by relief. This was the Ryoma he raised.


	4. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

"Game and match, Echizen Ryoma six games to two." Ryoma stepped off the courts and picked up his bottle of water. On the other side of the court, Horio slumped to the ground heavily panting and out of breath. He had improved his game enough to at least sort of keep up with the boy but he still had a lot to go. For this team to achieve the greatness that it had with the previous members, a lot of the players had to step up their game and find their play style.

Ryoma walked around the courts, watching everyone play and mentally noting down what he was going to tell each of them to improve by the next meet. He assigned the first years another one hundred swings of their racquets before the time was up and everyone was to start packing up.

It was all just a way to distract himself however. Just a way for him to forget all the strange things that have happened lately and just be the normal person he wanted to be. Then again...this situation itself wasn't letting him do that. He had to watch other people and help them improve. Part of him now yearned to get back to what he was before. Do nothing but stand on that green court and hit the ball back over the net to the other side.

He shook himself out of that mindset and ordered some of the second years to straighten their posture or put more power into their swings. If it killed him he would have this team ready for the regional tournament and at least get them into the finals. There were two that he had his eye on which would give the Golden Pair a run for their money and a few others he felt would be great if they focused a bit more on their tennis basics and less on trying to do the fancy moves that the others did.

Today was the day.

Now that practise was just about up, the thought hit him hard and as Ryoma called out to everyone to start packing up, the butterflies returned to his stomach. Since the night at Momo's house his mind had been filled with crazy thoughts of relationships and emotions; nothing of which he had any minute understanding. Then time had passed and today was the day, exactly one week since he received that note.

Absentmindedly, Ryoma walked around the court picking up random balls from the ground with his racquet and in one swift movement also hitting those balls towards the baskets that the first years were carrying around. This in turn stopped everybody from packing up and it wasn't until almost all the balls were in the baskets that Ryoma realized everyone was staring. He sighed and called to everyone to get back to what they were doing.

With that final order, he stepped off the courts and picked up his tennis bag. It only took him a few minutes to change to his usual casual tennis gear and slowly made his way towards the tracks. Time to see what he had been waiting for this past week. He had to brace himself for the flood of emotions which may hit him again if Fuji tried what he did in the locker room once more.

When he arrived at the courts there wasn't anybody else there. He was either really early or Fuji was held up...or maybe not even coming. Ryoma pulled out his racquet and started playing around with a few racquet tricks just to work on his ball handling skills and it wasn't long before he heard footsteps behind him.

Fuji motioned to the boy to head on over to the other side of the court. They had never finished that match they started the other time to see who was the better player. Maybe now would be the time. Echizen served, starting straight off with his twist serve.

The match continued on for a few hours, both of them having lost count after the first round and neither of them playing to their full potential. Both of them were distracted at that point by thoughts of other things. A slight breeze blew past Ryoma and before he realized it the sharp return had flown right past him and bounced back straight into Fuji's hand. It was a signal to end the game there. Ryoma smirked at Fuji, the tension he had felt at the beginning completely dissipated.

"There's nobody at my home tonight." Fuji spoke quietly to the other as they put their racquets away and slung their bags over their shoulders. Ryoma nodded quietly in response and they began their walk towards his home. It was a distance away but they both enjoyed it. Once in while one spoke to the other about school or what they were working on but other than that they just silently kept in pace. Much of the conversation they have had together in the past were just about tennis and nothing much else but the conversation they had through that silence was special in itself.

Fuji opened the door into his home and motioned for Ryoma to go in ahead of him. This was the first time Ryoma had visited his sempai's home and it was a nice comfortable one. He wondered for a moment how Yuuta would feel with him walking in like this. Fuji moved into the kitchen to pour them some drinks while Ryoma settled down in the other's room.

Once in there he couldn't help himself but climb onto the other's bed to get closer to the window sill. Along the sill sat a row of cactus, each a slightly different shape from the other. He looked at them closely. A few of them had little tiny flowers growing on them and there was one that looked like one of those stereotypical cactus cartoons with the two arms that reached out and pointed to the sky, but there was one on the end that attracted his attention. He reached out and touched it with his finger lightly.

It was in a tiny pot on its own to the side. There weren't any sharp points on this little bulb, there was just green fluff as if it was just growing and learning what it was supposed to be. It felt intriguing when he continued poking it. Something that was supposed to be sharp and pointing actually feeling soft.

At that point Fuji came in with the glasses. He paused at the doorway watching Ryoma quietly. It was funny how things worked in life and how people reacted in situations. He watched the younger boy reach out and touch the plant in an amused way again...and again. It was funny because that was how Fuji reacted when he saw this cacti at the store. When he saw it, that one had to be added to his collection; his little family on the window sill. The small plant that wasn't old enough to show its full potential but yet you can tell just by looking how beautiful and dangerous it was going to grow to be. Despite knowing that...it was also possible to see how beautiful it was as it sat now.

Fuji placed the glasses on his desk, making a point to cause a small clink as he placed it down to announce his entrance. Ryoma shifted away from the plants as if he were a little embarrassed that they had intrigued him so much. A soft smile formed over Fuji's features as he moved to sit next to the one that was already comfortable on his bed. "It's okay. They don't hurt unless you move to hurt them first."

There it was...that strange thumping in his chest and the weird butterfly like feeling he felt in his stomach. Ryoma felt himself tense slightly as the other moved closer to him. It was only when Fuji's hand went to rest gently on Ryoma's shoulder, slowly pulling him in for a kiss that he felt his body relax again. The tingle ran down his spine as he felt himself lean in closer.

It felt just like how it did the other day. The fireworks of emotions exploding within his body and it was all he could do to be closer and closer to the other. Fuji's gentle hands played over Ryoma's body beginning their exploration at the bottom of his shirt and gently lifting it up. Fingertips played over the muscles as they moved their way up to his chest. A moan escaped Ryoma, purely from the overwhelming emotions that were coursing through his body.

Fuji couldn't help but allow himself a soft chuckle. He was right to pick a day he knew his family would be away. Ryoma was definitely going to be fun and ... he was glad. A part of him was afraid that the young captain may have turned him down. As that thought ran through his mind, Fuji doubled his efforts on the boy before him. The kisses became slightly desperate even as he shifted their bodies in a way that Ryoma lay beneath him. Now...it would be too late to turn back. "Ryo-ma..." the voice whispered as he leaned in, his lips meeting with Ryoma's neck, tongue darting out to run over the sensitive flesh.

The physical touch and the way his name was said encouraged another moan from Ryoma. This was only the second time Fuji had called him by his first name...the first time being... He felt himself stirring where he had not felt emotions before. His breaths were now very short and forced, sweat beginning to cover his body. "F...Fuji..."

"Mm...Syusuke..." He corrected Ryoma, wanting this moment to be as intimate as possible. With that, Fuji leaned away from the boy just long enough to lift off the shirt that was covering his body, then moving back in to rain kisses from his neck down to his chest.

Ryoma's hands moved hesitantly over Fuji's body in return, unsure of where he wanted them to go but wanting to become closer. In between the rain of kisses, the young prodigy succeeded in removing his elder's shirt, dropping it carelessly onto the floor by the bed. "Syu...syusuke..." He managed to mutter between his pants and was met with a kiss from Fuji almost as if it were a reward for being a good boy.

After a long soft kiss, Fuji reached a hand up, gently closing Ryoma's eyes, his fingers lingering a little over the very faint and almost invisible scar that crossed over one eye. A sign of the boy's determination and strength. The elder slowly moved down Ryoma's body, looking up once every now and again to make sure the other's eyes remained closed. He would enjoy this so much more that way.

Black shorts and underpants joined the clothes on the ground and a moment later Ryoma moaned aloud as he felt a warmth envelop him. An emotion exploded throughout his body; one that he had never felt before and never knew could exist. Then he felt the pressure that was applied.

His moans weren't loud but they were loud enough to at least have been heard by Fuji's family in the next room if they home. Golden eyes closed tighter and all Ryoma could do was grasp the blankets and sheets in his hand until his knuckles turned white. It wasn't long until he felt himself reach a point and surpass it into a white explosion. His body felt tired and drained...to feel this way he would have had to have played an eight hour long tennis match. His hands relaxed and he continued to pant to get enough oxygen back into his body.

Fuji took this moment to silently undress the rest of his body and reach under his pillow for something he had prepared for this day. He gently coated himself in the lubricant he had purchased a few days ago, holding some in reserve his hand afterwards to warm it up. As he felt it was appropriate he leaned towards Ryoma again, capturing him in a long kiss as his fingers went between the other's legs.

As the new sensation hit him, Ryoma's eyes opened sharply but as the sight of Fuji before him, covered in sweat and a very satisfied expression on his face, he relaxed. Ryoma's legs spread slightly of their own accord, allowing the other more access and a trust which wasn't earned easily. When Fuji was satisfied the next step wouldn't hurt the other too much he positioned himself and gently pushed his way in.

This time...both of the boys moaned with the action, the emotion overcoming the both of them and for the first time in both their lives, they felt like they were completely open to another person. The motion was slow to begin with as they both worked towards a harmonious rhythm. Fuji nestled into Ryoma's neck and moaned towards the other's ear. Their bodies moved in synch and stayed as closely to each other as possible.

Ryoma's arms tightened around Fuji as he felt the other's body become more and more tense as he was reaching closer to the end. It was at that point that Ryoma decided to take the initiative, reaching his hand up towards Fuji's face he tilted up his elder's chin and took upon his lips with his own. Ryoma's tongue darted out, seeking Fuji's and creating a dance which fueled Fuji's desire. With that he was pushed over the brink and Ryoma could feel the passion within him.

They settled into each other's arms, Fuji holding Ryoma very tightly to his own body. He watched Ryoma quietly drift off into a quiet sleep and in that sleep managed to somehow snuggle against his chest in such an adorable fashion he never thought he'd see something from the arrogant first year he met many years ago. Fuji's smiled, his eyes showing an expression more akin to sorrow however.

"I'm sorry, Echizen." He whispered softly to the sleeping boy. Through this one act of selfishness, he didn't know how many people he had hurt. And despite his resolution to have this be his first...and his last...the decision he thought would be easy to make after this has become much harder.

How do you tell the difference between attraction and love...is there even a difference? And then...if you were able to figure that question out...the other question remains. How do you make a decision on who you want to spend the rest of your life with? Fuji bit his lower lip, the emotions tormenting him at that time. Maybe he had to settle with making the choice that would hurt the least people.


	5. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

Fuji watched the younger boy make his way down the front path and turn onto the street, a smile plastered on his face. A smile which only lasted until the boy was out of his vision. He shut the door quietly and turned from the entrance, dropping backwards until his body was supported by the wall just behind him. After how close they were last night, this morning was a little stiff and formal. The both of them had people waiting.

That morning when he bid farewell to Echizen, it felt so surreal and he felt the emotion shoot through his chest as the young boy had said the same to Fuji. ..._Fuji. _After all that Ryoma had only called him Syusuke once. That thought bought a small smile to his face for a fleeting moment before that also passed.

He pulled himself away from the wall and moved into the kitchen. Once there, he half collapsed into a seat. Fuji had only felt this way once before. He cast his mind back, drowning in the flood which overtook him and for what he had done last night, he welcomed this emotion.

_"He's transferring away, are you okay with that, Fuji?"_

_"Whatever makes him happy. I'll be okay with that."_

He had smiled through hearing the news and every time another person asked him that question, he had responded again with a smile and a simple positive answer. It was all he could really do. There were only two choices at that time really; he was either faced with the fact that he had spent his entire life protecting his little brother only to come to a point where his existence hurt him or let his brother go and follow his own path despite how much he wanted to remain close.

Whatever makes him happy.

It had taken him quite a while to pull himself together after that day. His older sister had seen the majority of it but for the most part he was able to go through his days with his quiet smile. The only person who really noticed asides from his sister was Tezuka. They didn't really talk about it, however. He noticed though. During that period of time Fuji found himself with mostly matches against people who were junior to him and given jobs he could do with his eyes closed. Slowly he pieced it back together and the smile became genuine once more.

Cerulean eyes cast towards the ceiling, staring at the blank white expanse. He never thought the feeling of someone walking away from you could hit this hard twice. All that time preparing himself mentally for this morning...the morning after...were for nothing. After all, how do you prepare yourself for a day like this.

If only...he didn't go to Seigaku he wouldn't be feeling this way but he couldn't imagine life without the team. If one of the three of them had signed up to another school, another club...if they were rivals maybe this wouldn't be happening. But...would it have been better that way? If Fuji and Tezuka had a rivalry akin to Tezuka and Atobe rather than the friendship they had now. The thoughts raced around each other until Fuji remembered a moment he had with his best friend not long ago.

Tezuka had chided him for having such roundabout thoughts. He had questioned Tezuka on the situation and the response was one that sounded so remarkably like the captain that Fuji had to laugh in response. "Daydreams...huh?" He muttered to himself. Then for a second he could even imagine the same kind of response coming from Ryoma.

A shuddering breath escaped Fuji as he was once again drawn back into that thought pattern. What was he supposed to do?

_"If only at the time, I knew what words to say to him. Things probably wouldn't be the way they are now."_

He had a rehearsed conversation in his mind. The exact words he would say to Yuuta to convince him to stay but the words always came out wrong so he never spoke up and this morning...it happened the same way. Fuji, the genius who was great at english and used very descriptive and understanding analogies on a tennis court to explain situations ... just didn't know what to say at the times of his life that words were really important.

When he was younger, Fuji had felt so drawn to Tezuka. Someone he thought was exactly like him. He felt he could accomplish anything with his friend there and they had been through so much together. He remembered the shock on the rooftop when Tezuka had announced he would be going away for a long time to get his shoulder healed.

And he also remembered the farewell Seigaku match they had against each other before they both graduated from the school. A match that everyone would remember. The first time Fuji had ever felt utter defeat and understood what it felt to really want to win and have that stripped from you right at the end. It was an experience that changed him forever. An experience he will always be thankful to Tezuka for. Now he knew what it truly felt like, he knew how to reach for that passion again in future matches and there was a new lever to now strive for.

He gathered himself up and stood from the seat. Tezuka had done so much for him until now and they had always stuck to each other through thick and thin. How could this have been the wrong decision? Ryoma and Fuji had their moment and they both will always cherish that. However, Fuji had Tezuka...he's always had Tezuka and Ryoma had always had Momoshiro around. They had helped each other through so much as well.

Those memories were precious. Those memories were the ones which will hold true through these decisions.

Fuji mentally nodded to himself. He allowed himself a smile...small but present. Now it would be the time to take the next step forward. He could do this. Maybe it wasn't as bad as the time Yuuta moved on without him. Maybe he was exaggerating the emotions he was feeling before. That had to be it. He took a deep breath.

"Hmm." With that, Fuji pulled some clean clothes from his wardrobe and proceeded to change into comfortable sporting gear. He packed his tennis rackets back into their bag and pulled out his mobile phone.

"Eiji. Want to have a friendly match?" It was at times like this you had to have another friend to turn to, just to get your mind off things. Someone with such an uplifting attitude that you couldn't help but genuinely smile.

The other thing he did like about Eiji though...? That boy was never afraid to speak his mind, never mind the consequences. Maybe that would be something that Fuji needed at this moment. "Sure, we can meet at the street tennis courts."

After that he would make that phone call to Tezuka.

The match between Eiji and Fuji lasted several hours with the acrobatic star being defeated once again by the prodigy's tsubame gaeshi. "Eh~! Fuji!" Eiji teased him for playing more seriously than normal that day. The taunt was returned with a smile from Fuji, finally having worked out the stress of the morning.

As they were packing their rackets away, Fuji turned towards his friend, intending on broaching the subject of Ryoma to get another point of view. Over the years he had learned to trust the red head. Before he could form the first word however, a voice interrupted them from behind.

"Eh! Fuji sempai! Eiji sempai!"

A tall figure came running towards them with a bright cheeky smile. Momoshiro had just finished a match on the other courts with one of the street tennis boys. How lucky that two of his friends were close by. He had wanted to hang out with some people he felt really close to. Especially Eiji at this point in time as he was the one who knew already about his situation.

Seeing the boy run up towards him, Fuji felt a second's worth of tension pull at the muscles he had worked so hard to relax. He forced himself to let all of that go. His enemy wasn't Momoshiro after all, it was just a strange situation. The usual smile crossed his expression. "Hi, Momo. It's been a while since we met up."

Momoshiro nodded enthusiastically in return and turned towards Eiji with a bright smile.

"So, so! What did he say, Momo? You asked him already, right? RIGHT?" The excitement could barely be contained. He loved being in the loop and knowing all the news. With all the news returning back inevitably to Oishi for processing. Fuji turned to the two of them with a questioning gaze.

"Ne, remember, Fuji? I told you already. Momo was going to ask the ochibi out on a date!" He was almost bouncing with the excitement. He had been waiting to hear back from Momoshiro since this announcement was first made. There hasn't been a non-tennis related announcement this exciting since Oishi and Eiji decided to let the team in on their secret. It was getting rather to hide how serious they were about each other after all.

"He said yes, Eiji sempai!" The grin couldn't get any wider from the boy as he stood there. So the response wasn't exactly how he had hoped it would be, but it was still a positive response none the less. Maybe the most positive response someone like Ryoma could give. Over the years the boy had matured a bit, become less cocky and smiled a little more around people but he was still the Ryoma who wasn't very certain how to express himself a lot of the time - well unless he was on a tennis court or about to go onto a tennis court.

"Congratulations! Momo! That's great!" Eiji, out of his excitement performed multiple cartwheels around the courts. It was the best thing he had heard all day and this would be such exciting news to talk about at their next dinner.

"Mm. That's great to hear, Momo." Fuji responded, the smile still on his face as he zipped up his tennis bag in one swift movement.

"Ne, Fuji. Didn't you call me out today to talk about something too?" Eiji cocked his head to the side a moment and stared at his friend. In this excitement, he had completely forgotten about the original reason he had come out today and that wasn't just for a tennis match, surely.

"Nothing really Eiji. I just wanted to hang out today, that's all." Fuji nodded to confirm his statement and smiled at the both of them. There was no way he was going to be able to talk about anything now and maybe it was for the best. In the end if Eiji found out, then Oishi would find out. And who knows how worried Oishi would be if he found out Seigaku had a love square. It was bad enough when Oishi thought there was a love square amongst Seigaku and Fudoumine.

"Ah, so that was it. Fuji missed me!" Eiji smiled brightly and punched into the air. "Let's all go get some dessert!" He announced happily. There was much to celebrate today. Much much much to celebrate and what better way to celebrate than to get ice cream at the best ice cream place in town.

Momo readily agreed and before Fuji knew it, he was tagging along for dessert with one of his close friends and the boyfriend of someone he had just slept with. What a situation.

Their time together was still a happy time, however. There was a lot of amusing chatter going on between the three of them, most of it being teasing from Eiji and Momoshiro growing bright red with each consequent attack. Fuji couldn't help but join in the fun and let himself go. This wasn't exactly how he had planned the rest of his afternoon but it was a good one in the end. No matter what happens, he has comrades in the Seigaku team he played with in his third year.

The dessert went on for a bit longer than all of them had expected and it turned into a light dinner as well. Over the course of dinner Fuji learnt many things about his friends. Momoshiro loved to watch drama and this was his first serious relationship. Eiji has progressed with Oishi and they were thinking about moving out together in the very near future.

Recently one of Oishi's favourite tropical fish passed away and the boy had been sad for days.

Kaidou Kaoru still does nothing but train day in and day out. So Momoshiro still does keep in contact with that boy after all.

Inui still develops new versions of his vegetable juice. Apparently in the past week Eiji was tricked into drinking it twice.

Fuji nodded at each piece of gossip which was passed over the table. The other two boys didn't really notice that Fuji himself didn't contribute much. This was helped by the fact that whenever the other two stopped talking, Fuji would help the conversation along by asking simple questions to keep the other two talking.

It was definitely better this way. Everyone is so happy. Fuji himself, could feel himself smiling despite any other emotion he was feeling within him. Yes, this felt right. It had to be. For a moment, Fuji wondered what the other boy was doing right now. He shook himself out of that thought as he departed from the other two and pulled his mobile phone from his pocket. "Ah, hallo, Tezuka." The conversation begun as Fuji slowly made his way home.


	6. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five - Side Story ~A few years ago...~**

"Eiji!" Oishi reached out a hand towards his friend as the angry red head had stormed off the courts. Maybe he had been a little overcritical that day and should have focused more on his choice of words. He reached a hand up and wiped the sweat from his forehead. The two of them had spent almost the entire day training and the heat was getting to the both of them. The vice captain moved off the courts and into the shade, taking a long drink of water whilst his eyes darted around to see if there were any signs on which direction Eiji could have gone.

That boy could have gotten anywhere. Towards the park itself, back towards home...ah no, his bag was still here. He could've gone for a long walk towards the shop...heck, if he wanted to Eiji could have even gone upwards. With that thought, Oishi cast his eyes upwards to the tree he was standing under and almost did a double take. Eiji really did just go upwards. Just above where he was standing was the other sitting on a branch and sulking.

"Eiji, I never said that the Golden Pair wasn't great." He began, a soft sigh passing his lips. With that, the boy leaned down and picked up his partner's water bottle. "You're thirsty, right?" He tossed it up gently towards the boy who caught it and took a big long gulp from it whilst simultaneously turning his back on Oishi.

Oishi sighed again. It's not like his friend has never had these tantrums before. Once in a while, it just seemed Eiji's buttons became way too easy to push. He could tell it wasn't serious though. If it were, the other half of the duo would have been much harder to find. He couldn't have imagined what it were like if they were to have played hide and seek as children.

The thought of them playing hide and seek coupled with the image of his friend sulking in a tree caused Oishi to burst into a small fit of laughter. It felt bad for a moment that he was laughing while his friend was clearly upset but in this situation he really couldn't help it. He really...couldn't imagine what it would be like without someone like Eiji around.

Laughter bubbled up towards the sulking boy which made him turn around with a sharp penetrating gaze. "Now you're laughing at me, too! Just because I told you that if you didn't want to take Golden Pairs seriously, I'll just play doubles by myself!" The argument caused another chuckle from Oishi before he waved a hand and motioned at Eiji to come down from the branch.

"No, it's not that Eiji. Really." He smiled he usual smile and held out a hand. "I was just wondering if you climbed trees when you were younger...during hide and seek."

"EH!" The idea of Oishi thinking those kinds of thing almost made Eiji fall off the branch all together. He took that moment to deftly drop backwards down from the tree and a midair tumble later, Eiji's hand landed in Oishi's as his feet touched the ground. "You think strange things, Oishi!" With that, the sulk was broken and the two were talking again.

They both dropped down on the ground beneath the tree as minds wandered about the upcoming matches and whether or not the training they've done would be good enough to get them all the way to the end. They had learned so much in a short period of time but there was so much more to learn. There were so many different combinations when it came to doubles that it would take a lifetime to do everything.

Neither of them would've minded.

With all the training they had worked on together, nobody would have expected what was to occur in a few weeks time.

...

"I'm playing doubles with Momoshiro? What ... what happened to Oishi?" The boy panicked at his coach. Thoughts flew through his mind about their promise together, their goals and most of all...is Oishi okay?

The match went well that day and wish Oishi up in the bleachers waving the flag and cheering them on, Eiji felt as powerful as he usually did even though he played the game away from his beloved net. Kikumaru Eiji matured a little that day.

That evening as the team went out to celebrate their victory, Eiji couldn't help but glance over throughout the night to see what his partner was up to. Who was Oishi talking to...? What was he doing...? In between stealing sushi from Fuji, which by the way, was completely the WRONG thing to do and starting playful arguments between Ryoma and Momoshiro, Eiji wondered why Oishi spent all his time over to the side with Tezuka, rather than come and hang out with him. Maybe, Oishi found Tezuka to be more interesting than him.

Nah, surely they were just talking about tennis related things. And what was he thinking about anyway? Eiji never thought about this kind of thing before. Maybe that day Eiji matured in ways more than just on the tennis court. That entire match, he had spent realizing just how important Oishi was and how much the other was able to support him. It had never crossed his mind before.

Asking Oishi to play doubles with him was a suggestion made on a whim when they were first year players. Eiji did that a lot...just evaluate a situation on the spot and throw out whatever was on his mind. For a moment at that time, he really thought Oishi was going to turn him down. Who'd want to play doubles with an acrobatic style player, right? But he had said yes.

Without a moment's longer hesitation, Eiji jumped over to Oishi, arms wrapping tightly around the other boy's neck as he butted in between Tezuka and Oishi's conversation. "We won! No more serious talking until tomorrow!" He declared to the two. They turned towards him with slightly surprised expressions and if it were anyone else, they probably would have been given twenty laps on the spot. However, Tezuka smiled and nodded. "Let's enjoy tonight as it is but from tomorrow we must continue to move forward without regrets."

Taking advantage of the interruption and Tezuka's attention being suddenly diverted by Kaidou hissing very loudly at Momo, Eiji leaned down and whispered quietly to Oishi. "Tomorrow morning, parfait?" The cheeky grin that followed would have melted anybody's heart. Oishi nodded in agreement, already knowing exactly what time and which location his friend wanted to go to.

A second after that a very loud clear voice erupted next to them. "We may be having a fun night out after the game. However I do not tolerate breaking the rules. Momoshiro, Kaidou. Twenty laps!"

"Yee~s." The two answered as they went to put their shoes on and run twenty laps of the block around Kawamura Sushi. They managed to stay calm and not yell at each other until they reached the exit but from there the voices could be heard very loud and clearly as they started their run.

"Some things don't change, do they?" Oishi half heartedly smiled at the situation whilst Inui happily claimed that this would be the hundredth and first time those two have run laps around the block this year.

The party went throughout the night with a lot of sushi eating and happy conversations. And being the tennis players that they were, nobody could resist talking about and dissecting the matches that they had played earlier that day.

Despite the party going late throughout the night, Eiji managed to pull himself out of bed that morning. Nothing could keep Eiji from that dessert shop and those delicious ice creams. The idea of Oishi meeting him there was even more of an incentive for him to get out of bed. He hopped into the bathroom and picked up his favorite toothpaste with a great smile. Today was going to be a good day.

The bright smile was still on his face as he left the house dressed in his casual gear. No tennis today! Just lots of desserts and Oishi's company. What more could he ask for? Although, they might end up talking about tennis anyway. It was something they usually ended up doing.

Eiji trotted up the street with a spring in his step. Once in a while he performed a little twirl or if he passed through an area where there weren't much people he flipped off some walls. It was the way he managed to keep up his skills and constantly improve them. The boy had just learned to incorporate that style into his every day life.

It was a pleasant surprise when Eiji arrived that Oishi had already sat down at their usual table and even more pleasant that as he sat down, the exact dessert he had wanted all day also got placed down in front of him. With a very big smile on his face the boy didn't hesitate to pick up a spoon and dive right in.

Oishi chuckled to himself as he picked up his own spoon. Today he decided to take a shot and order the same thing as his friend. This was all he ate after all, each time he came. And then if Eiji was still excited for more, there was the really big portion that they could order later.

After the excitement had calmed down a little and the redhead had managed to finish half of the dessert already, Eiji glanced towards Oishi with a worried gaze, shooting his hand out and grabbing Oishi's arm, just below where the bandaging ended. "Oishi..."

"Sorry, Eiji." The vice captain cut him off, not wanting Eiji to mention it any further. He had been looking forward to that match as much as Eiji had. They had trained so hard day after day and completely mastered a new technique to unveil to the world that day. "I should have been more careful."

"You didn't ask for a pregnant woman to fall on you. ... right?" The hesitant pause and question on the end brought the smile to Oishi's face. Exactly the reaction Eiji had wanted. Honestly, all he wished for right now was to see his best friend completely healed up and ready for the next round, well...that and maybe another round of dessert. Anyway two weeks wouldn't be too long. He could spend that time working on some other things. Things like...his stamina maybe.

_Mm. This is the perfect atmosphere. _

As Oishi sat there laughing to himself at the thought of himself wishing for a pregnant woman to appear and fall on him the day of an important match, Eiji stood and moved closer to his best friend. It was now or never. The expression on his face changed completely to serious for a moment and before Oishi could react, he leaned down and pressed his lips lightly over his partner's.

"Golden Pair...forever, right?" The whisper came from Eiji as they parted.

And once again before Oishi could respond, the atmosphere changed back to what it was. The serious expression on Eiji's face fell away and the usual smile replaced it. "I got it now." The voice erupted happily from the boy, claiming his win for the day.

A brightly red-faced Oishi sat there, unable to speak for a moment as Eiji sat back down triumphantly and started digging into his dessert once more. Was that what today was about? Eiji pulled him out to their usual meet for this?

Well...then he would have to scrap the plans he had made for next week when he was finally going to properly confess to Eiji over dinner. He smiled and nodded at Eiji. "Mm...yes you do. Forever Eiji."

Well, maybe the dinner part of it could still happen.

And whatever was to follow after that.


	7. Chapter Six

Dull amber eyes glanced left and then right before the young boy slowly made his way across the street. Each step took him closer to an apartment complex which made him feel uneasy. He couldn't hold back a soft breathy sigh as it slipped past his lips. Ryoma didn't know how he felt about this entire situation, he honestly didn't. He couldn't find the right words to express what he wanted to say, nor did he think he wanted to tell anybody anyway. This act of duty which he was about to perform wasn't one that he necessarily wanted to undergo. It was more something that he needed to do just to make sure everything was real.

The two hour train ride felt like it had taken forever. With each stop that he sped past he felt his chest clench just a little bit tighter and his mind turn a little more muddled. Just a few months ago, he was a carefree tennis captain and all he had to do was go to school, go to practice, study and go to sleep. It was an easy routine to follow and one that he had wanted to go on for just a little bit longer. Then…everything seemed to happen all at the same time. He clutched at the small bag he held in his right hand, two little boxes wrapped up inside snug and ready to warm up the new apartment that his friends have rented together.

Together…

At the gates of the complex, Ryoma stopped walking. He turned his back to the complex and leaned it against the wall that surrounded the building he was supposed to enter. If he was completely honest, he still didn't know how he felt about the two people in his life who seem to have affected it beyond reason. The boy had never thought about what a relationship meant and how it felt to be in a relationship. How do you tell if you like someone in that way? How do you know which decision is the right one? He hasn't even thought about what he wanted to do once he graduated.

He hefted the bag from his side and clutched it to his chest. What was he supposed to say to Fuji? What was he supposed to say to Momo? It seemed like all the decisions had been made for him when he wasn't looking and life was running forwards, pulling him along without letting him take a breath. Those same dull eyes stared up at the listless, cloudy sky. How did everything happen so quickly? Didn't he get to have a say in all of this?

_The restaurant they had chosen for the reunion was one that they had been to only a few times before. The boys had decided to give their usual sushi haunt a break and enjoy the dinner with Taka amongst them and relaxing for once. The night had gone smoothly, with everyone catching each other up on their lives and talking about where they would be heading with some of them heading into university and the rest trying to decide what they should do to prepare for university. It was a smaller reunion than normal, with only the nine of them eating around the big table instead of all of the extra people they usually invited. It gave them a chance to catch up more intimately, something that wasn't usually done._

"_Oishi! That was my piece!" A childish voice called out over the chatter at the table. This was followed shortly by a softer feminine voice chiming that Eiji was welcome to the plate that on the table besides that one. A few other voices echoed that sentiment which was then followed by a round of laughter before the ex-vice captain spoke up._

"_Please don't trick Eiji into eating anything strange tonight. I'm the one that's going to have to deal with it on the way home and look after him all night." The laughter and merriment continued in this fashion for a while longer, the topics becoming a little more serious now as they started to discuss living arrangements. Who was moving out? Who still lived at home? Did anybody have a girlfriend yet?_

_It was then that there was a high pitched but light tapping sound from one end of the table. All eyes turned to Tezuka who had started to lightly tap on his glass with a spoon. "I have an announcement that I would like to make to the rest of you tonight, if I may." The voice spoke with the seriousness captain tone that everybody had grown accustomed to over the many years of knowing the man. Besides him, Fuji sat with the gentle smile that usually adorned his soft features; the smile that nobody quite knew how to understand._

"_Over the next few months, Fuji and I will be moving into our new apartment. We have yet to finalize the lease for it but we are hoping to get a place in the complex right by the university we are both wanting to attend. As soon as the details are finalized, I'll be sure to pass on our new address to all of you." There was a hint of a smile on the man's face as he spoke and with that, his announcement was over. There was a short pause before the table went up with cheers and congratulations were being called from all locations around the table. This was a moment that many of the members had been waiting for as they had all noticed the air between Tezuka and Fuji change slowly over the past year._

_An announcement that everyone except for one person had been waiting for. At that moment, Ryoma's gaze caught Fuji's at the two of them shared a small pang of regret and a memory that the two of them shared and wanted to repeat but have now lost their chances of completely. The young boy opened his mouth to also give his congratulations when an arm clasped itself around his shoulders and a jovial voice called out from the seat beside him. "While everybody is making their announcements, I want to make one too."_

_An announcement…? Ryoma's eyes cast up urgently at Momoshiro, trying but unable to catch his attention before the other prattled on with his announcement. "Last week, Echizen and I shared a special moment." The boy's heart sunk but he could see the excitement and happiness that Momoshiro exuded. This wasn't something he should interrupt midway. He had learnt a lot about how to deal with people and society the past few years and this was definitely one of the situations where he wished he could be his former self. Tell the other off and stop the moment but before he knew it the announcement had continued to its end. "And while we're never going to be as embarrassing as our Golden Pair, Echizen is now my boyfriend." _

_A small chunk of food flew over the table towards Momoshiro at the last comment before there was a very quick hissed lecture at the childish action and a round of congratulations started up around them. The other boys clamoured to congratulate Momoshiro for finally having the guts to take the step he had been hmming over for a long time now but it was when Fuji looked towards Ryoma and started his congratulations that the young boy in question pushed his seat back from the table. He made a small gesture to Momo that he should stay and enjoy the moment when he got up. "I just need some air." And with that he left the table._

_When Ryoma stepped outside into the cool night's air, he breathed in deeply with the hopes that it would take away all of the emotions that churned inside his body. He had no idea what just happened inside but he didn't like it. Everything felt strange and everything was moving too quickly. But before he was able to make sense of it, footsteps could be heard behind him and he realized Fuji had followed him out. _

"_Congratulations." The feminine voice spoke as he went to stand by Ryoma just by the entrance. The pair stood in silence for quite a few moments, both not knowing what to say. _

"_That's it then." The younger boy replied, unable to meet Fuji's gaze as he shuffed his feet slightly. This entire moment was awkward. Everything felt strange. What are you supposed to say when you're accepting congratulations of getting into a relationship from someone that you had just recently spent the night with. Someone you weren't sure how you felt about. That coupled with the fact that you were now dating someone who you also had no idea how you felt about and didn't know you were dating until the other person had announced it._

"_What's it, then?" Fuji responded quietly._

"_That night didn't mean anything to you, did it?" Straight to the point. By this point, Ryoma's patience was wearing thin and he had had enough of these emotions. Things should just go back to the way they were. Life was simple, all he had to think about was tennis._

"_Echizen…" Then as quickly as that response started, Ryoma ended it. The way his name was said was all he needed to hear. The part of the name which Fuji had chosen to say explained everything. It was the heat of that one moment and that was how it would stay. He didn't know whether the feelings he felt at that time were betrayal or whether it was disappointment at himself for not being strong enough to make a decision. Now the decision had been made for him and there was nothing else he could do. All his life, decisions were made for him. What tennis he played, which school he played for and now who he was to date. All decisions made by other people. He turned away from Fuji and refused to hear the rest of what the other boy wanted to say and that was when the door opened once more._

_Momoshiro stepped out of the restaurant with a big grin on his face. He glanced at the two who stood outside and without feeling out the situation called out to them. "Hey, the desserts are coming out, do you two wanna come back in already?" He moved towards Ryoma and reached a hand out to grab onto his boyfriend's shoulder. The hand was roughly smacked away just before it landed._

"_Don't touch me. I never said yes. Why do you all constantly make decisions for me?!" The words rushed out of Ryoma's small body, smacking Momoshiro and Fuji right in the chest. But before either of them could react, the boy was gone. He no longer wanted to deal with any of it and the easiest way to deal with this was just to go home. Dessert wasn't worth sitting in a room with a boyfriend and a….what do you even call it? He didn't know and he didn't want to think about it._

_When they went back into the restaurant, excuses were made about the young captain needing to do his homework and write up new training schedules for the team. Momoshiro having been convinced by Fuji that the best recourse now was to leave the youth to his own devices and think things through. They could always contact him the next morning. Nothing could be done now. _

Ryoma had spent the next few days thinking over what happened at the restaurant. Then a few days after that, he met up with Momoshiro and the two of them continued on their friendship like nothing had happened at the restaurant. Neither said anything about their new relationship status although it was still implied that Momoshiro believed they were definitely dating. The relationship would move as slowly as Ryoma needed. That was all the young boy needed, a little bit of time.

Another little sigh made its way past the young boy's lips and he pushed himself off the wall. This time he turned back towards the complex and rung the doorbell. A few moments later, after giving his name to the intercom, Ryoma was buzzed in and he made his way up to the apartment that the two had managed to secure.

He tried to keep his spirits high. There wasn't any point in being upset or confused now that he had made this entire way to visit two of his seniors. They had been good to him throughout their time together in club and they deserved everything that happened. Ryoma took a deep breath and nodded to himself before he stopped at the doorway of his destination.

Just before he knocked on the door, however, he noticed out of the corner of his eye, a windowsill that peered out of the apartment in question. Along the sill, a line of little cactus had made their home. They were all there, all the little prickly plants that he remembered sitting by Fuji's bed. All of them except one. The soft round one that he had taken a liking to. The one that Fuji had watched him sit and be enamored by on the bed that they had shared that special night together. That little cactus was nowhere to be found and with that realization, the boy left the small gift bag hanging on the door and left to start the return trip home.

Obviously, Fuji had already made the move to forget that night ever existed.


End file.
